5 Practical Tips to Manage Social Anxiety

Small talk isn’t always a small or simple task. For many people, the thought of having to start conversations with strangers, to make eye contact, to navigate through a room full of people, or even to just say hi can feel like a steep uphill climb.

Networking events may cause you to feel lightheaded and nervous. Group dinners can leave you with a racing heart rate and rapid breathing. Even Zoom calls may make you sweat. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Social anxiety is quite common and goes beyond being shy or antisocial. It’s the result of the way your brain processes social information, often perceiving these situations as dangerous. Ready for the good news? With practice and the right tools, you can ease your anxiety and build confidence.

1. Prepare Ahead of Time

Anxiety is often fueled by a fear of the unknown or a fear that you’ve lost control. Preparation is a way to counterbalance your situation. When you know what you can expect, your mind will have less reason to spiral.

Before entering a social situation, take a few minutes to pre-plan possible outcomes. What topics of conversation do you foresee coming up? What points can you contribute? Who might you run into? If you’re the speaker for an event/meeting, rehearse what you plan on saying and anticipate what questions may be asked.

As you prepare, visualize yourself having a positive experience. This will help set the tone.

2. Use Grounding Techniques

If you notice your anxiety spiking, you want to find a way to bring yourself back into the present moment and calm your nervous system. Start by focusing on your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths, breathing in for four counts, holding for four counts, breathing out for four counts, then pause and hold for four counts before repeating.

You can also engage your senses to reconnect your mind and body. The 5-4-3-2-1 method can give you a good starting point. Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Social anxiety can lead you down a road of unrealistic, distorted thinking. When you notice yourself having a negative thought, try taking a step back. Ask yourself:

• Is this thought true?

• What evidence supports that?

• What would you tell a loved one if they were in your shoes?

While it may take some practice, reframing your thoughts more positively can help shift perspective and reduce anxiousness in return.

4. Practice Gradual Exposure

While you may be able to avoid some social situations in the short term, this won’t be a sustainable practice long term. Plus, avoidance will only reinforce anxiety for your future self.

One step you can take is to practice gradual exposure, facing what you’re afraid of in small doses. Start with something lower pressure, like talking to a store cashier. As you expand your comfort zone, you can work up to something more challenging, like a group event.

5. Celebrate the Small Wins

Managing social anxiety may be more of a marathon than a sprint, but each step you take forward is a win. Making that small talk, holding eye contact, voluntarily joining a conversation…all wins. Even showing up to an event where you may have avoided otherwise is considered a win.

Keep track of your progress and celebrate your accomplishments. Recognizing your efforts can keep you motivated to progress further.

Taking the Next Step

Anxiety counseling offers a safe space for you to explore your fears and their root causes. Together, we can work on developing healthy coping strategies, practicing management techniques, and building confidence for future endeavors.

Are you ready to take the next step? Contact my office to schedule your consultation today.